Some men dream of becoming fathers. They pick out baby names, imagine the nursery and picture themselves building a happy family.

And then there are Filip and Peter.

For them, the big question of the weekend is more likely to be where the next party is happening. And, perhaps more importantly, how to recover from the last one.

Let's just say nappies, baby bottles and parent-teacher meetings aren't exactly at the top of their to-do lists.

Yet in Proud, the Polish HBO Max series, and Club Kid, the film written and directed by Jordan Firstman, two gay men find their lives turned upside down by the unexpected arrival of a child.

Two stories. Two very different worlds. And two men about to discover that fatherhood doesn't necessarily wait for an invitation.

Behind the parties, the excesses and the inevitable mistakes lies a much more serious question: does a gay man have to be practically perfect to be considered a good father?

Proud: When Partying Meets Reality

In Warsaw, Filip, played by Ignacy Liss, is a young gay model who has seemingly turned carefree living into an art form. Parties, boys and difficult mornings-after are all part of his everyday routine.

Responsibilities? Tomorrow will do nicely!

Unfortunately, life has a rather annoying habit of ignoring our plans.

After his sister's sudden death, Filip finds himself facing an unexpected responsibility: his one-year-old niece, Tosia.

Gradually, he begins to consider taking care of her permanently, even contemplating adoption.

Fatherhood was never part of the plan.

And that is precisely what makes Proud so compelling.

Created by Karol Klementewicz and honoured at the 2026 Series Mania festival, the eight-part series has time to explore Filip's transformation without resorting to easy shortcuts.

Thankfully, it doesn't present us with a party boy who magically becomes the perfect father after changing three nappies.

Filip remains Filip, complete with his contradictions, questionable decisions and struggles to reconcile his former lifestyle with his new responsibilities.

But learning how to care for a child is only part of his challenge.

He must also deal with how others see him.

In Poland, where legal recognition of same-sex parenting remains particularly difficult, social services and conservative prejudices complicate an already challenging situation.

His private life, his habits and even the people he spends time with can become reasons to question his suitability.

This is one of Proud's greatest strengths: it shows a man fighting to have his ability to love and protect a child recognised, without pretending that he is some sort of saint.

And that makes all the difference.

Club Kid: A Son Who's Almost Too Perfect?

Now let's change scenery.

Welcome to New York, with its clubs, endless nights and a world where the party never seems to end.

Peter, played by Jordan Firstman, is a nightlife promoter whose existence revolves around parties, encounters, excesses and a freedom he thoroughly enjoys.

Until one day, Arlo, a ten-year-old boy Peter never knew existed, unexpectedly enters his life.

Surprise! Peter is his father.

And apparently, nobody thought to include an instruction manual.

Club Kid starts with a situation remarkably similar to Proud's. But while the Polish series takes its time developing its characters, Jordan Firstman's film sometimes left me wanting more.

Because Arlo is an absolutely lovely boy.

Perhaps a little too lovely.

Imagine suddenly discovering a father you never knew existed, after losing your mother. Your entire life changes. New surroundings, new rules, new relationships…

And somehow, everything seems to fall into place almost effortlessly!

Arlo accepts his newfound father with a level of ease that genuinely surprised me. Very little anger, hardly any rebellion, and an ability to adapt that many parents could only dream of.

Given everything this young boy has been through, I found that lack of resistance difficult to believe.

Fortunately, Jordan Firstman is terrific.

His performance gives Peter an authenticity, vulnerability and emotional depth that more than compensate for some of the screenplay's shortcuts.

The relationship developing between Peter and Arlo is genuinely original and touching.

And when the story moves to England in its final section, the film finally gains greater depth. Situations become more complicated, emotions more layered and the challenges considerably more believable.

I just wish the film had found that depth a little earlier.

When Partying Has a Darker Side

Club Kid also touches on a darker aspect of Peter's world: drugs, excess and the risks associated with certain sexual practices.

Some situations echo chemsex, the use of psychoactive substances in a sexual context.

It's a serious subject, one that I feel the film touches on without exploring in sufficient depth.

Behind the parties and the apparent freedom, there can sometimes be very real experiences of dependency, vulnerability and suffering.

At HappyGayTV, we explored this issue with Jean-Luc Romero-Michel and Fred Bladou, discussing the risks of chemsex and its human consequences.

Watch our programme about chemsex with Jean-Luc Romero-Michel and Fred Bladou

Of course, enjoying gay nightlife is not the same thing as engaging in chemsex. But the film reminds us that personal freedom can also involve risks that shouldn't be ignored.

Boys Will Be Boys… Unless They're Gay?

This is perhaps where Proud and Club Kid become most interesting.

Because what, exactly, are Filip and Peter being judged for?

Partying? Having multiple partners? Enjoying their younger years without giving fatherhood a second thought?

But why would they have thought about it?

Neither expected to find himself in this situation.

Filip never imagined adopting his niece. Peter didn't even know he had a son.

And yet their past suddenly seems to become evidence against them.

We might smile indulgently at a straight young man who spent his twenties partying before eventually settling down, meeting the woman of his dreams and starting a family.

"Boys will be boys!" someone might say with a knowing smile.

But when the man in question is gay, the reaction can be rather different.

His nights out, his partners, his habits and his sexuality may suddenly come under particularly close scrutiny.

And what about his friends?

Because the problem doesn't necessarily stop with Filip's and Peter's own behaviour.

There are also their friends, the people they've spent years partying with, sharing experiences, making mistakes and enjoying life.

Some of those people may not provide the most reassuring environment in which to raise a child. And neither story always tries to convince us otherwise.

But does becoming a good father mean abandoning your friends?

Keeping them away? Hiding them? Pretending they were never part of your life?

How much of yourself should you have to erase to fit someone else's idea of the ideal father?

Naturally, protecting a child from potentially harmful environments or behaviour is a legitimate responsibility.

But there's a difference between adapting your life to the responsibilities of parenthood and being expected to erase your identity in order to be considered worthy of raising a child.

Do you have to change your life, or pretend you always lived a different one?

It's a question that both stories raise, sometimes almost unintentionally.

Of course, not all situations are equal. Behaviour that puts a child at risk deserves serious consideration, regardless of a parent's sexual orientation.

But that brings us to the real question: are the same behaviours judged equally harshly when the prospective parent is gay rather than straight?

It's this potential double standard that both stories encourage us to examine.

And on that front, I find Proud considerably more convincing.

The series takes the time to explore how prejudice can affect the journey towards parenthood without pretending its protagonist is flawless.

Club Kid, meanwhile, often favours tenderness and fantasy over a more thorough exploration of its characters' contradictions.

That isn't necessarily a bad thing.

But with such a rich subject, it's hard not to wish that some of those questions had been explored more deeply.

Does a Gay Dad Have to Be Perfect to Be a Good Father?

Ultimately, both stories lead us towards a deceptively simple question.

What makes someone a good father?

A past free from excess, mistakes and questionable decisions?

A spotless career, a tidy apartment, sensible hours and a sufficiently respectable lifestyle to reassure everyone around him?

And must he also have the right friends, the right social circle and a past discreet enough not to raise eyebrows?

Or is it more about the ability to love a child, protect them, meet their needs and take responsibility, even when nothing has prepared you for it?

Obviously, love alone cannot solve every problem.

Parenthood also requires stability, care, sacrifice and sometimes profound personal change.

But should those expectations be different depending on a father's sexual orientation?

Should a gay father have to be more irreproachable than anyone else simply to be considered legitimate?

That is the question that moved me most in both works.

In Proud, I loved following the doubts, contradictions and gradual evolution of a man discovering a responsibility he had never imagined taking on.

In Club Kid, despite my reservations about certain storytelling choices, I was genuinely touched by the unexpected relationship developing between Peter and his son, and by the sincerity Jordan Firstman brings to the role.

The two works don't tell quite the same story, nor do they have the same strengths. But each managed to move me in its own way.

And I certainly won't tell you how either journey unfolds towards its conclusion.

That would spoil the pleasure of discovering their emotional twists, contradictions and surprises for yourself.

And believe me, that would be a shame.

And in Real Life, What Does Becoming a Gay Dad Look Like?

Fortunately, screenwriters aren't the only people with stories to tell about gay fatherhood.

In real life, too, men build families, overcome obstacles, confront prejudice and discover both the joys and the challenges of raising children.

On HappyGayTV, Rémy and Kévin shared their journey to becoming fathers of three children through surrogacy in Mexico.

Unlike Filip and Peter, they actively chose parenthood. They wanted children, prepared for their arrival and fought to make their dream of starting a family come true.

But when we met them, another important step still lay ahead: securing legal recognition of their shared parenthood.

Each needed to pursue adoption proceedings for the child or children whose biological father was his partner.

And suddenly, fiction meets reality.

They, too, had to appear before a judge.

Two men already raising their three children, sharing the joys, responsibilities, sleepless nights and everyday realities of family life.

Did they, too, have to prove just how perfect they were as fathers?

In November 2025, the court finally ruled in their favour, allowing their family to take this essential step forward.

But as they explain in their book, the journey was far from straightforward.

Of course, legal procedures serve important purposes, particularly when it comes to protecting children's interests.

Yet their story raises the same question running throughout this article: why must a family relationship that already exists in everyday life sometimes still be formally recognised by a court?

Discover "2 Dads, 3 Babies": Rémy and Kévin's Journey to Parenthood

What Do You Think?

Have you watched Proud or Club Kid?

Did either story move you? Do you also think the Polish series explores the subject with greater subtlety?

Or perhaps you think I'm being too hard on Jordan Firstman's film?

And above all, do you believe gay men still have to prove themselves more than others to be recognised as good fathers?

We'd love to hear your thoughts!

Through the HappyGayTV Hot-Line, you can send us an audio or video message, ask a question or share your own experience.

And if you enjoyed this article, please share it. Someone you know might have seen these two works, be interested in gay parenthood or simply be curious to discover HappyGayTV.

You can also visit the HappyGayTV Club to keep the conversation going and explore more of our world.

Because ultimately, behind these two stories of unexpected fatherhood lies a question that concerns us all:

Do we really need to have lived a perfect life to deserve the chance to build a family?

Or is what matters most what we choose to do with our lives today?

Marco Drion

HappyGayTV — November 2026