Nicolas Noguier and the creation of the Refuge: A story of decisive encounters to support young LGBT people in distress

Today, we'll tell you about a crucial story a beautiful adventure, that drastically flipped upside down the destiny of those who were rejected by their families in France, because of their gender or sexual orientation. This is the story of Nicolas Noguier, the President of the Refuge (Refuge or Shelter) who will reveal to you, in a moment, the painful events that led him to create this beautiful organization ! You'll discover later on, with Marie-Bénédicte MELTON, how her life was disrupted

when she met Nicolas for the first time and hosted the first youngster ever at her hotel, and she'll also tell us, about some crispy fun facts, regarding the Refuge. And then, we'll leave with the one who always has more than a few tricks up her sleeves, as you'll see later on and for whom there are more and more people ready to click on the "Like" button : Roselyne ! And obviously, the best of your comments, left on HappyGayTV's Hot-Line !

Hello Little Kitties, hello everyone! It's not a novel, but a beautiful story, a true story, the story of a man that we already had on our show Nicolas who is a brave man. Today, we'll show you how it's important to have a solid determination, and a big heart. Because it's his empathy towards the suffering of those youngsters in distress that led him to create the Refuge (Refuge or Shelter) A testimony full of life lessons, for all the ones who wants to take on any project. But above all,

a human story that shows us that in life, there's a lot to be gained from helping each other rather than hating each other ! Cue report ! Creating the Refuge, is somehow linked to my journey, my tough experiences, both and at the same time positives ones and ... I found out that I was far from being alone in this world, at least, that's what I was thinking before. And I realized that I was somehow lucky, to have my parents and a caring entourage. I asked myself, basically,

at 21 years old, when I had to talk about it, if my parents said to me "Well no, you have to get out of the house", what would I have done ? I asked myself where am I really heading to ? When I was a teenager, I was hiding, completely, the fact of being gay and after that, when I overcame my fears and talked about it, and I found out that my parents already knew about it, well, I kind of made things easier. And starting from that moment,... I didn't feel the urge to hide myself anymore. And then people...

started to come to me to confide. And after meeting with them, a little bit, and having a little talk, well, I realized that, very often,... that homosexuality is very tough to live through. Both the young and not-so-young, didn't really have someone to talk to. And I realized that, talking about it with someone, well, it sets you free, completely, and for them it's a major step forward. I finally realized that there were a lack of listening structures. Beyond the need to be heard, there was also a real social need.

One of my friends told me... that he had an experience, in fact,... with a young boy, around 20 years old, who was on the streets because his parents didn't accept him as he was. This young boy, named Cédric, from Marseille,(France)... have been in touch with me. We have been talking back and forth,... and then I realized that he was in situation,... rather difficult,... and that beyond the isolation,...

he had a tough life and heavy loaded past. And so I went to Marseille. It was difficult for me, because,... I was still that shy person and having to meet someone in real life, that I didn't know, well it was... harder than talking to some friends. I spend the entire afternoon with him. He was put out on the streets by his parents at an age of 17-18 years and for about 2 to 3 years now, he found himself

in the prostitution world And then I realized, that in fact, it was,... a very tough environment, and I wasn't expecting that. After that, I went back home and I was,... I felt really powerless, because I didn't know what he was expecting from our meeting. Maybe he was waiting for me to take him out of there. But,... at that time, well, the Refuge (Refuge or Shelter) wasn't there yet...

I saw after that a report on the Têtu magazine, (French Gay magazine) a structure similar to the Refuge (Refuge or Shelter) in Manchester. And so, I contacted them, I sent mails, phone-calls, video conferences... And I really took my inspiration from them. At first, I did a lot of research, to see if there was, at the very least, a twig of that project, of something like that... and there was nothing. I realized that there were organizations that played

a real social role, But it wasn't quite the same as the Refuge (Refuge or Shelter) to be honest. I met with dozens and dozens of social workers. I wrote to, educators, directors of emergency shelters, the CHRS, (accommodation and social rehabilitation centre) to ask them, if throughout their career, they were confronted to a situation where young girls or young boys, could find themselves, even in these kind of structures,... isolated...

because of their feelings and their sexual orientation to be precise. I had a lot of feedback. Because indeed, social workers didn't know how to approach this topic with the youngsters, and when they finally speak about it, they didn't know what to do or where to direct them. And it forged in me, the desire to... create a structure... like the Refuge (Refuge or Shelter) In fact, I wrote to the Têtu magazine,

to talk to them about my project, and about all the process I had to go through. And they ended up publishing my letter. And then one day when I was checking my mailbox, I saw a small package, and I was wondering what it could be, And inside of this package, there was 200 letters... From persons who think that what I talked about, was really cool,... and it echoes within them ! There were social workers,

people in fact,... who experience the same thing when they were young, maybe around 70% of these letters. And... well, I ended up by,... replying to each of those 200 persons,... Well, sometimes I had to spend the entire night to do so. And then, little by little, and with time, from the starting 200 we were around 20 to click right away, bond strongly, and share the same ideas, opinions, mindset and everything.

People from all around France. And this is what explains the fact that the Refuge was... nationwide from the first day. When we say that there was such energy we said to ourselves, that we should create an organization to make it official. And so, we took two years to really think about it, since we didn't have the right tools, and we were not sure about it yet. And so in 2005, we were contacted by a young man, from Perpignan, who was 19 years old

and was really, in a tough... a very tough situation. He said to me, since I was the one to call him, that he couldn't take it anymore. You could really tell how much he suffered, even from a phone call and it kind of struck me hard. We were wondering, if we were really ready to host him. We finally said to ourselves: "Well,... we had to do it and go for the real thing at some point. We said that we'll pay for his train ticket, and that he can come to Montpellier (France). We brought the young boy, here, at Saint-Charles Hotel in Montpellier.

In fact, the owner of the Hotel, immediately said yes. And she found herself a little bit caught... in the middle of this game... She didn't know that there was such suffering, and such a rejection from the parents. In fact, she offered the hotel room for free. And then she spent the first nights ... talking back and forth with the young man, She helped us a lot. And, when we saw that... the first experience was rather a positive one,

things kind of escalated very quickly from there And the owner of the Hotel, noticed that we couldn't keep up with the expenses, because hosting them in a hotel room,... even though we made a lot of deals for cheap, it was still very expensive at the end. So she said to us: "Well, if you want, I have a studio... that I can rent it for you,... it would cost you 300 € per month,... since you're paying the same price for a week with this hotel room" !

We immediately took the offer. Even though we had a limited budget. And after that, we went from door to door, asking for help. I spent,... days, and even my holidays... and all those nights going to Paris, to Ministries,... meeting with the deputies to increase awareness about this matter. It was really a thorough and considerable job, of persuasion... A great story indeed ! And yes, a great story that we still live this day, for more than 16 years now,

a story worth clicking right away on the "Like" button down bellow ! So before we continue, I would like to thank all the actors who were kind enough to help us film these clips Nicolas Noguier, of course but also, the hotel's director, Marie-Bénédicte MELTON who accepted with no hesitation to play her role and we'll have her over in a minute. But before anything, I would like to draw your attention on 2 important things: First of all, we have an emergency number that you can call 24/7 for all of you in distress, So please, let the people around you know about it. After that, I would like to raise awareness about the fact that it's important to help the Refuge

So we would really appreciate, if it's possible, to make donation, anything would be of a great help ! Anyways, these 2 reasons are enough for you to share this video right away with everyone, and all over social media ! Thank you to all of you !

Marie-Bénédicte MELTON, thank you for having us, on the terrace of St Charles Hotel here in Montpellier and for giving us a little of your time. We've just seen that you're the one, that made it possible for the Refuge, to host their first teenager, You became ever since an important person for the organization, since you are part of the executive board. So, Marie Bénédicte, can you tell us more about the first time you met with Nicolas ? The day he arrived, I remember, it was in winter, it was ... it was winter time, I'm sure of it. And,... and so he approached us,

he looked a little bit embarrassed, he asked me for an appointment. We met after that and it was very quick. He was all hampered. It's not always easy to go and present yourself to businesses, and say that,... you're part of an organization that helps rejected people, and have to talk about the reason behind the rejection, and you know, having to talk about the intimate details of the story. Because at that time, it's been about 12 years now, it wasn't taboo but,... it was something you wouldn't feel comfortable

talking about it. Marie-Bénédicte, I would like to understand; what made you receptive the Refuge's cause ? Was there any event in your life or in your family that made you particularly sensitive to the Gay's cause ? Could you please explain that to us ? I lived 10 years in Paris, in the 80's during the dramatic AIDS years, we'll call that this way,... Eventually, these years were terrible for us ! I lost a lot of friends !

And my great friend, someone who I deeply loved and admired his name was Frédéric Secordel-Martin, he was the president of an organization, named First International. And... And in this organization we made... a lot of donations, for researchers and scientists to know more about AIDS We organized picnics, social events, and things like that, and all the profits went entirely and straight to Mister Rozenbaum and all the hospitals, that worked hard to fight against AIDS And it left me with, how can I say it, kind of particular...

tenderness, for this environment, with a lot of touching people, who hold a very special place in my heart, voila ! And it stops here. Marie-Bénédicte, you are someone who helped enormously the Refuge since day one, as it is explained by Nicolas here in this report, You helped him understand that to host the teenagers for a long period, hotel rooms are not the solution, but apartments are. And without you, who knows, maybe it wouldn't have been financially possible

to host them even for a short time period ? Well, I was part of it since the beginning since I was, myself, the owner of the hotel. And I was embarrassed to take... that money, knowing that it was difficult for them, to collect it in order to help the youngsters. So yeah, I always did, and I think I still till this day,... do everything in my possible to minimize the expenses. And a hotel, is not,... it's not a place where you would start your life over ! A hotel is never the place for your to start a new life. We pick up kids from the streets, thrown out of their houses, and they don't even know how to wash a pair of socks.

And you won't be able to learn about this in a hotel room, you won't be able to boil an egg or fix a hot cup of milk,... They have to be in an apartment, in order to learn what life is all about, because the majority of these teenagers were really young ! They don't know anything about life ! That's what I always tell them, kind of playing the role of their mother. Well, I don't think that I did a lot for the Refuge, I always did and said what I deeply felt and I acted like any mother would do. If I understood well, Marie-Bénédicte, you dived in immediately in this adventure since day one,

with this organization, and it wasn't part of your life plan. Could we say that you were kind of drawn in by Nicolas ? Well, first of all, the character,... First of all, the character, because Nicolas, is someone very captivating. You know that feeling, when you meet someone for the first time, and you already know that this person will make a great impact, and hold a special place in your life. Well it was the case with Nicolas. Because I felt that. And, and it took back to my years in Paris, and... Frédéric arrived soon after that.

And it's true that Frédéric is one hell of a guy, who I also deeply loved and admired. I,... I don't know, I can't see my life without them. They're always part of my life, at any time of the day or the night. Well you know, I followed them, and yes, they drew me in ! I followed them, and we went together ! Marie-Bénédicte, after all this years, with Nicolas at the Refuge, you probably have some funny stories to tell us ? If I start talking, I won't stop

Go for it ! We're listening, give us everything ! What happened,... ... I remember, yes, at first and it was kind of funny, when we had to go and solicit politicians, to help us with a little bit of money, and things like that. These were some of the steps we had to take at that time, and it was really funny. So, overall what happened, is that Nicolas asked me - "So, I have a quick meeting, could please take care of it, to know if we can have the subsidies ? - "Well listen, if you want me to, I don't mind it !"

And this is where I would find out, that he,... said to that person and I won't say any names, that,... that person was a horrid boor, a cad or something like that. And I find myself facing this man, trying to talk to him about ... the subsidies, and telling him that Nicolas said this... Because Nicolas is someone...

who doesn't hold things within, and he always says what he has to say, briefly. So, these are some of the things that I remembered. Probably one of the rare and funniest anecdotes... of the Refuge. And did you manage to get what you wanted ? Great ! He had a woman in front of him ! He had a woman in front of him and he had to say yes ! And he said yes !

To finish, Marie-Bénédicte, after all this time, and with hindsight, what do you think about these years, I was about to say, these years at the "Refuge" ? With a lot of hindsight, or not so much of it, I realized, that it was incredible, from the day Nicolas first came to the hotel, till now. and how the Refuge ended up thanks to them, for me, it's something ... Well, I have a very...

profound admiration for him because even though he has a tough job that takes all of his time, Yet, he still gives what's left of it for the Refuge, so it's ... And trust me when I say, that it's day and night, hein... from what I know, from what I see. It's a success, a great success ! Indeed, Marie-Bénédicte, it's a great a success and it's important to tell everyone about it. So, as I told you earlier, thank you for sharing this video with everyone you know, and all over social media. And I would like to say that we, HappyGayTV's team

will keep up with the incredible story of the Refuge. So, to make sure that you won't miss our next reports, I invite you to subscribe right away by clicking here at the bottom right of the screen. And to participate actively in our channel, and starting from now, be part of our privileged followers those who already are kind of members of your private club, our VIP club, you should register right away, by going to the HappyGayTV Club section, on HappyGayTV.com Enjoy the free access for the moment ! I'll make sure to remind you at the end of the show either way !

Marie-Bénédicte thank you and have a great day !

And so, there's another way to interact with us, all you have to do is go on our Hot-Line, and leave your messages and comments, and this is where we leave with Roselyne Roselyne ? Yes, I'm here, my dear Marco ! How are you doing ? Yes, yes Well, I, myself, decided to do just like Marie-Bénédicte,... I won't stop and I'll throw in everything. So, here I am ! (Laughs)

Euh no, maybe not this piece of decoration ! So, here I am again ! Hop ! (Laughs) Well yeah, we're just like that, us, women, hein ! When we want something, we tend to get it at the end, hein ! Even the subsidies ! (Laughs) Well, not always, because Marco... (Laughs) A question... well, enough !

(Laughs) She seems to be very nice this Marie-Bénédicte but, on the other hand I think she might be treading on others' toes, hein ! Well yeah, wait a minute, I wrote it down somewhere... Nicolas is a very soothing person ! Frédéric Gal is one hell of a guy, whom I deeply love and admire ! There can be no more than one femme fatale here, hein ! So, if you want to have all the men, it won't happen just like that, hein !

They are mine, I was here first, hein ! “Tention” ! (Attention!) So, dear friends, HappyGayTV.com, let's go,... Leave your questions, comments,... Well, I'm really happy and over the moon, I'm sparkling, I'm Happy, I'm Gay... (Laughs) HappyGayTV ! Shall we ? Let's go...

So... First, we have Helmut, from Moisie (Moldy), in the Sept-Îles area (Seven island), in Quebec... Ah ! Let's go back to Quebec ! Well yeah, we've already been there ! Hein ! We really love it ! We travel with you guys ! Hell yeah we're going to Quebec... We're going ... We're also staying here in France, because we have some beautiful regions. We're going everywhere, to Australia, to Finland... (Laughs) I love it ! I'm over the moon !

So, what's Helmut telling us ? He's asking what type of literature, you can find on Têtu magazine ? Ah ! Excellent question ! So, for me personally, I've never read it, hein... But I think it's kind of a targeted literature... Marco ? Does it ring a bell, or... ? Of course ! Well yeah, that's it ! (Laughs) It's a magazine for gay people, but not that dedicated for that matter !

Come on Roselyne ! You should know your stuff better ! Well, you know what, I link the two of you guys and you'll have the time to talk about it... hein, okay ? So... what do we have again ? A message from the management... Ah... sorry about it, I have to... Ah ! I also received a package, with a lot of letters ! Ah ! That's nice ! Hehe no, it's not that nice ! (Laughs)

Apparently, these are a lot of complaints letters, about me... From women... Ha !... They are jealous ! Well yeah, but, let me tell you one thing... It seems to be, rather... Pouf, pouf, pouf,… It's quite normal... Look, ... envy… Well yeah, for sure !

Anyways, it's not a problem, I won't read this package, I'll leave it here, I don't need it ! So, anything else Bertrand, from Viols-le-Fort (Rape the strong) in Hérault (France) Oh, well that's something, hein ! (Laughs) who has a question for you Marco ! Nicolas, talks in this report, about making the first step... And Bertrand asks you when are you going to make the first step... and ask me out... Ah yes, good questions, Marco ! So, we're listening !

Roselyne, I'm not sure what you mean ? How many times do I have to tell you that I already have someone in my life ! It's kind of annoying, this may lead to believe that you're probably looking for a three way ! Well yeah, don't you see, yeah... Well then you'll have to ask André, hein, he'll have the right answer for you With his beautiful brown shirt, hum ! Well nah, but making the first step ! Anyways.. we know Marco, it's crystal clear ! We can see it in your eyes Look at you even drooling, here !

(Laughs) You're eager to have me, Marco. So, go on ! I'm not that intimidating ! Whenever you want, I'm open, hein ! (Laughs) No ! Well, anyways, listen Bertrand, I'm waiting hein... I'll continue waiting,... Sorry, it's not for today ! Well ! Anyways, thank you...

for your concern about my sex life... Euh ! my love life... ! It's very nice, that someone here thinks about me a little bit ! Hein Marco ! So, what do we have more... Bernard,... from Notre Dame des Sept Douleurs, (Lady of the seven pains) in the lower St-Laurent area, in Quebec who said,... he was also really isolated... Ah well yeah, but in the meantime it looks kind of pushed far a little bi...

Sexually !... Sexually isolated ! Ouh ! (Laughs) Well, listen Bernard,... Listen... Since Marco haven't decide yet... I would like to help a little bit, hein... I don't mind giving you a helping hand ! Well,...

a really good one Or you know what, we can do it with anything other than hands, but!... I meant to say, anyways... I can devote myself, if you want to... Body and soul... So, you know what ? Send me a picture, Okay, with your address And then, well, I... I'll think about it and let you know afterwards

Hein ? Deal ? Anyways… Well, listen... I'll see what I can do,... But I think I have an Aqua biking session, later on So, I'll leave you guys here... Because... (Laughs) A body like this, a perfect one... Well, you have to maintain it, hein ! So, I give you a lot of kisses,...

HappyGayTV.com Message and comments won't stop coming, And I'll wait for yours ! Goodbye, kisses Thank you Roselyne, but tell me one thing, you could've at least, powder your nose... Shine bright like a diamond, apparently ! and what's with this red all over the place and beyond your lips... (Laughs) Roselyne, where's your make up artist Natacha ?

(Laughs) It seems that she went to the emergency department...

you literally blinded her when you hit her with your bag.. your clutch bag !... Anyways, that's nonsense, come on ! Roselyne, you should probably calm down, hein !

Well, the time I take news from Natacha, here are your best comments left on the HappyGayTV Hot-Line. Hello everyone, Freddy speaking, from Corsica ! I would like to thank you first for allowing me to watch this show in premiere! With a big thanks to the HappyGayTV team, for being brave enough to broadcast it, while Nicolas Noguier has been indicted However, regardless of what he is accused of, rightly or wrongly, no one will be able to take away the fact

that he is the one who created The Refuge, and that he has with his whole team, helped young people stay out of the street and create a good future for themselves, in any case better than than it was before! Despite what some people say! And I wish a lot of courage to this gentleman, Nicolas Noguier, for the future! Hello it's Zoé ! I wanted to inform those who want to know a little more about the association Le Refuge,

that HappyGayTV shot an excellent show with the former team of this association, which shows us how much, some families, inflict atrocities to their children! I never imagined that it could be that much! So from memory, the show is called : Face à l'homophobie (Against homophobia) It's a black and white sequence, it seems to me. A must see, if you haven't already! Bye bye!

Anyways, as you have understood, you can leave us, starting from now, your comments, testimonies, even your reports ideas, on HappyGayTV's Hot-Line. In fact, we created for you, some kind of an online answering machine for a Tv forum and it enables you, to communicate with us, but also with each other, at anytime ! It's the HappyGayTV Hot-Line ! So don't hesitate, make sure to send us your messages right away, whether it's an audio or a video file, by going immediately to the Hot-Line section on happygaytv.com and just go on with the flow, you'll see, it's very simple.

Here, you know what, tell us for example, if in your country there is one or more organizations, just like the Refuge in France, or the one in Manchester, England. And if you have stayed in one of these facilities and if it helped you get out of your tricky situation, in a few words, tell us about your story. I'm sure it will be very enlightening for all of us ! So, go on, do it now ! Ah yes, I was about to forget something, as I already said, we had a lot of demands,

from people who wanted to know more about HappyGayTV, and who want to be more active with our channel. So, we created a private club, kind of a VIP club it's the HappyGayTV Club ! Please note, HappyGayTV Club ! So, enjoy it immediately sign up right away, while it's still free at the moment and this will give you access to confidential videos or information about our channel, it will give you the chance to attend previews, take part of games,

social experiments and shows, or even our exclusive offers. All you have to do is go now on the HappyGayTV Club section on HappyGayTV.com You'll see, it's quick and easy and you'll get to be part of our privileged followers ! Write it down somewhere, HappyGayTV club ! And who knows, maybe one day you'll get the chance to meet our mascot, I meant to say : Roselyne ! As for Natacha, at this moment, I'm not so sure about it...

Oh really ! It seems that she's doing better ! She was more shaken than injured ! We would probably see her really soon, back again with the team at HappyGayTV So, you should wish her a speedy recovery, and encourage her, by clicking on the Like button, just below this video ! Thereupon, my little ones, I give you warm kisses, and I'll see you very soon, take care of yourselves Take good care of you !

So, Ciao ciao !

Oh ! Oh ! Oh ! ... Cute Bernard ! (Laughs)

Yes, I would like a one-way ticket to Quebec... please (laughs) Yes, I should probably go get myself checked... Well, I have to go get myself checked (Laughs) Thank you ! How to be gay and Happy ?