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You've been circling your room for hours, hoping for inspiration. You rack your brains about coming out, not because you're not ready, but because you don't know how. The best way is the one that suits you the most. Of humor ? A quiet moment? A big speech or a little word? Whatever your choice, we have prepared examples of coming-out letters to inspire you.


Why come out in writing?

That's it, you're ready to announce your homosexuality or transidentity! What you haven't decided yet is what words you are going to use.

A tip from HappygayTV: take the time to write down what you want to say.

Whether it be :

  • Details of your journey of self-acceptance,
  • Your past or present experiences,
  • Your limits on the dissemination of information, etc.

Also feel free to write down what you feel: your fears, your confidence, and even your hopes for the future. Your coming-out marks the birth of the being that you are, but of which the world was unaware until then, your announcement is good news!

Even if you want to announce your sexual orientation or gender identity out loud, prepare a short text, it will allow you to stay true to what you want to express, even when emotions overwhelm you.

And then, you can also simply send or hand-deliver the letter you have prepared if you are more comfortable with this process.

Coming-out by letter: 3 typical examples

To help you realize your coming-out, HappyGayTV has written examples of letters to announce your homosexuality. Of course, each coming out is personal and unique, but if you're here, it's because you need a helping hand to take this important step.

A homosexual coming-out letter for his parents

If you do not know how to come out to your parents, here is an example of a text written for this occasion.

[Mom dad],

I have something to tell you.

This is a subject that I have often wanted to discuss with you, without really knowing how to do it. So today, going through this letter finally allows me to express myself on what is important to me to share with you.

I decided to face what has been bothering me for a while. It is not easy for me, because I am afraid that your look will change, afraid of your reactions and perhaps even of your rejection.

I currently identify as [gay/lesbian/bisexual/bisexual].

There, it is said.

Know that I remain the same person, with the same centers of interest, I still love [your favorite activity or passion].

I understand that this may put you in a state of confusion in the face of what is for you a change, but for me it is obvious, a revelation. It is also this stage of my life that will allow me, I hope, to get closer to happiness, to finally be able to be [happy].

At the moment the only people who know are [my best friends, the names of the friends in question] and I want it to stay that way. I will decide myself when I announce it to the rest of the family.

I love you.

Your [daughter/son] who finally assumes

Write a letter to say you are gay or lesbian to your friends

If you are looking for a text for announce your homosexuality to your friends , here is a structure to rely on.

Hello everybody,

Some will not be really surprised by this announcement, but I need to take the time to ask things, even drop them off, with you.

I've been sure for a few [months/years] now: I'm [gay/lesbian]. I like [men/women].

It's obvious to me now and it does me a lot of good to say it. To finally be able to stop hiding, silence my attractions or prevent myself from sharing my favorites.

I want to share this with you, as I do for other aspects of my life. I want to be able to debrief my dates, discuss my current crush, maybe even introduce you to [my future girlfriend/my future boyfriend].

In short, I want to be myself with you, because you are important to me.

[Your first name]

Letter to come out trans

Hi [Recipient's first name],

I have something important to tell you.

Perhaps you have already noticed it without daring to ask questions (and for that, I thank you).

Today, I am 30 years old and I finally reveal myself for who I am. For the past few days, I have decided not to hide anymore, to live my life as I am. And if that means losing relationships that don't want to understand and accept, I'm [ready] for that.

I am [male/female]. In fact, I always have been, but it took me a long time to realize it, and even more to accept it.

I am now on the right path to finally be [that girl/that boy] who deserves to be [freed/freed] from the shame and suffering of secrecy.

You may be asking yourself a lot of questions. To answer that, I can already tell you what this actually changes:

  • My first name is now [your first name],
  • To address me, use [masculine/feminine] pronouns.

In fact, it's simple: I am [male/female]. And that's damn good news: I'm coming out that will change my life.

I know you're not really used to this kind of statement, so here are some tips:

  • Avoid questions or remarks about my sexuality, sexual practices, awesome parts, or looks if I don't bring it up myself: it's kind of inappropriate to comment on someone else's sex aspect or ask for details about the other's sex life.
  • Do not mention my previous identity unless I do so myself, it could expose me to acts of transphobic violence.
  • Use the first names and pronouns mentioned above, it is very important for me to feel [accepted and recognized / accepted and recognized] for who I really am.

In short, nothing really rocket science, but it makes me so good to share it with you.

If you have questions and concerns, I will listen to them and do my best to answer them or direct you to resources that will help you.

I'm [male/female] and I'm fine like that.

[Your first name]

If you need support in your coming-out process, you can contact us. [link to contact page or CTA]


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