Understanding Transgender Identity Through a Powerful Personal Story

[Sung]: HappyGayTV You can wear a dress all you want if you have the face like Jason Statham, it just doesn't work, you know! Overnight, you show up at work dressed as a woman, I can tell you it’s chaos! You shouldn’t be afraid anymore; in fact, if you’re afraid, you create a negative reality for yourself. If you start on a positive note, life will smile upon you! Today, a woman who changed history,

Marie Cau, France’s first trans mayor. Her journey: a lesson in courage, freedom and self-love. With Dr. André HELMAN, we’ll go further: understanding without judging, feeling without clichés. You’ll also listen to your audio and video messages on the Hotline. Words that are sometimes strong, sometimes deeply moving. An episode you definitely don’t want to miss. Because today, we’re talking about identity,

but more importantly, humanity. And of course, Roselyne’s smile and her reactions in the heat of the moment and those of the followers. - Yes, Roselyne, from the Hotline! But I’m not very happy, Marco! But we’ll talk about that later!

Hello, my little ones, hello everyone! Today, we’re welcoming a woman who has made history, but more importantly, a woman who embodies the courage to be oneself. You may know her, Marie Cau, France’s first trans mayor! In 2020, in a small village in northern of France, the residents placed their trust in her, not because of her gender identity, but because of her ideas,

her dedication and sincerity. Marie has faced doubt, stares, and prejudice and yet she kept going. Her journey is a lesson in freedom and humanity. In her book, *Madame le Maire*, published by Fayard, she talks about her long journey toward inner truth. And believe me, even if you think that being transgender isn’t your issue, you’re going to be surprised, because as you listen to Marie, we’re talking about all of us, about this universal quest,

the quest to finally be at peace with oneself. So don’t go anywhere! Here is the portrait of Marie Cau. Testimonial!

My name is Marie Cau, I am the mayor of Tilloy-lez-Marchiennes. It is a small rural village with 550 residents in the Hauts-de-France region located between Lille, Douai, and Valenciennes. I was elected last March as one of the first transgender mayors in France. I am an IT consultant. I have worked for major companies in Lille, Paris, and Brussels

and I have three children and I live with my partner. The term transgender is newer than the term transsexual. It’s more an issue of identity than of gender, actually, it’s not about orientation, it’s really about identity. We consider in a general sense, the term transgender. We will instead consider the term transsexual, more specifically for people who have undergone

gender reassignment surgery. My journey, it might be different from that of young people today, since back then it was hardly known. I started out as a normal little boy. I’m told you were a little boy, but I could tell that, even at a young age, I wasn’t like the others. According to my parents, it must have been around the age of two when I expressed my first,

my first emotions. So after that, it was a journey, a realization. Until the moment I found actual testimonials from people who were just like me. And that’s when, quite late in life, I realized, around the age of 40, I was able to put a name to something that I couldn’t identify.

Today, it’s easier for young people because there’s the Internet, there are a lot of media outlets talking about it. But back then, we didn’t talk about it. We presented the world in a very black-and-white fashion, so, I didn’t understand. So, this realization came gradually about my inner sense of self and then, putting a name to it.

Secondly, the real challenge in our society is that we aren’t accepted. So, if we make a quick transition, you lose your job, you lose your family, Well, that’s a difficult situation. I’m trying to balance my family life, my career and my trans identity. So, it’s very difficult to explain because if I ask you to explain what joy is, love is,

you won’t be able to do it. Here, it’s a sense of being. All we can do is draw analogies. I often use this analogy:

Imagine if you were asked to wear clothes that you don’t like, to live with people you don’t like, to do activities that you don’t like, to eat things that you don’t like. Is life possible? Yes! But will you be happy? No! It’s kind of like that!

It’s a feeling of being, where you don’t belong, you’re not doing what you want to do. So, we have a life in black and white. Then one day we decide to switch to Dolby and color. There you go... High resolution... It’s a somewhat simplistic image, but it’s hard to explain that it’s a feeling of being. It’s true that we feel forced to change because the situation

doesn’t suit us. But it’s complicated because you’re confined to a role and you have to overcome your fear of stepping out of that role. And that isn’t necessarily innate. So, there are some who get there quickly, some people run away, and there are some, it’s suicide, but it’s not obvious, actually. It’s really a feeling of being, a feeling of deprivation of freedom.

That’s the worst kind of deprivation, actually! That’s the story of Laborit’s mice. We flee, we fight, or we self-destruct. That’s exactly what’s happening. Some people who are stuck in their family environment, under social pressure, sometimes very intense emotional pressure. The fear of disappointing, the fear of being singled out. For these people, there is no way out.

So, suicide allows one to put an end to suffering. A few years ago, I told myself: "That’s it,

now I’m free!” It feels strange, when you’re 40 and you realize that you’re experiencing for the first time in your life a sense of freedom. Trans identity is a deprivation of freedom. You are deprived of being yourself. The reasons are purely biological. The brain is gendered, so we undergo hormonal imprinting in utero, which causes us to think like a man, or to think like a woman.

But you think like a woman, and people tell you that you’re a man. So, inevitably, you have a constant conflict that can only be resolved through discomfort. I think it’s purely biological. You don’t become gay; you’re gay! You’re trans, we were born this way! After that, you either accept it, or you don’t! You either understand it or you don’t,

but we don’t get to be, we are! When people understand that it’s purely biological, we think like men and we think like women because our brains have been saturated with hormones while in the womb, and well, there you have it, things become easier. Because many people don’t realize that all human beings, up until the 13th week, are female.

That's right! It's quite surprising. So, too bad for the macho men, but for the first thirteen weeks of your life, you were a woman. After that, there is a mechanism of sexual differentiation which causes the sex to transform into the male sex. But originally, we all start from a feminine foundation. And, during this transformation, you also experience hormonal changes

which causes the brain to reconfigure itself to think like a man, to be attracted to women or to be attracted to men, depending on their gender. And sometimes, that mechanism doesn’t work properly. That’s my analysis, that’s what I’ve understood. Clothing is important in the sense that it’s the mirror

that others reflect back. It allows you to see yourself. The mirror of others, or the bathroom mirror, helps our brain to identify itself, to reconcile itself. Because one could very well say: "I’m dressed as a man, I say I’m a woman and then it’s fine, well no"! Because if you don’t live as a woman, you can’t be happy.

It’s a complicated story, the story of the mirror. I made the change very gradually, because today, we have the opportunity to have unisex fashion. Today, you put on a sweatshirt, a pair of slim-fit jeans, sneakers… Well! You look neither masculine nor feminine. So, I first went through phases like that, a bit neutral, then a bit more androgynous.

Until the moment when, I realized, that I was starting to experience homophobia. Because in the minds of many people, an effeminate man is a homosexual! So, I was subjected to remarks, stares, extremely aggressive attitudes toward me. So, at that point, I switched into, full-on feminine mode. Society wants to put people into boxes, but the in-between, people actually don’t like that.

So, it’s better to fit into the “woman” box than to stay in a neutral box, androgynous, which actually arouses much more aggression, in fact! You are a woman among women. So, now, actually, I’m much more at ease. There are two types of evolution: there are those who do a bit the big bang—we held back for years, and then we do a big bang and from one day to the next, you completely turn your life upside down.

That wasn’t the case for me. I did it gradually, always striving to feel better. When I achieved that sense of well-being. And then after a while, it wasn’t enough, I had to go a little further. So, it was with absolutely no option to turn back. This also made it possible to manage the transition with my friends and family.

Because a transition is also about the people around you! That’s something many transgender people, forget is that they’re not alone. There is a society, there is a work environment, there is a family. So there you have it! You change completely, you turn the rules upside down, social rules. So that, that can be handled. So, for me, I did it gradually like this

and it went pretty well. I think coming out is different for gay and trans people. With a gay person, you can’t tell just by looking at their face, you know! So, it can be a complete surprise to those around them. It’s entirely possible to have a very private life, and then announce it and go through this whole coming-out process. For a trans person, it’s often a very gradual process, there are always signs, a certain way of dressing.

So, generally speaking, the people around them expect it to some extent. Generally speaking. Now, you have people who have been holding back for a long time and they’re doing the equivalent of coming out. Overnight, they start dressing as women, etc. Which, to me, is extremely dangerous. On the one hand, it upsets those around them and on the other hand, feminization,

it doesn’t happen overnight. Hormone treatments, they take time. Overnight, you show up at work dressed as a woman. I can tell you it causes quite a stir! I think I have a pretty open-minded family. There wasn’t really any discussion about it. As my mother says, even if we don’t understand, if we don’t have the intelligence, we must have the heart. So, I think they didn’t necessarily understand, but since we’re part of the family, we just deal with it, that’s it!

There’s family solidarity. So, we never really debated it, maybe with one person or two, but that’s it. People just go along with it, actually, with a lot of tolerance. I once asked my kids that question. They told me: “Who cares, we love you.” That says it all! On the other hand, yes, I still have a few people, in my in-laws’ family, who have turned their backs on me.

I wasn’t presentable enough. But overall, it’s okay... Honestly, I don’t care! I go my own way and I go to the people who love me and that’s enough for me.

So, today, the problem arises less often. But, in my day, you were classified as psychiatric patients. I was born in ’65, so I was young in the ’80s, so, that was 40 years ago. Imagine how far medicine has come in 40 years! The medical community was very hostile, so it was complicated, which is no longer the case today. Of what was eventually offered to you,

it’s a therapy for two years to explain to you who you are! So, we weren’t really getting any help. So, I had to go through this journey on my own. So, it’s done on several levels. It involves many surgical procedures, cosmetic surgeries, funded entirely by myself. I had the privilege of being able to do this, which is not the case for young trans people who, for their part, are at a dead end. Cosmetic surgery allows for the removal of the ravages

caused by testosterone: that is, bone mass and cartilage that develop. Which gives us typically masculine features. You can wear a dress all you want, but if you have the face of Jason Statham, it just doesn’t work! So, you have to “demasculinize” the face, in order to fit in, what’s called “passing.” Most transgender people, all they want, is to go unnoticed. They’re not trying to be the ultimate bombshell!

No! So, for that, cosmetic surgery, yes, it’s necessary... Which isn’t the case for trans men where, in this case, it’s testosterone that will transform them into men in a remarkable way. They won’t have to go through surgery for their facial features. Indeed, many

people might think I’m a lesbian! To me, that doesn’t make sense. I’ve always loved women, regardless of my identity, my orientation doesn’t change. So, I love women. Besides, I don’t really care about the person’s gender, but more to who they are, you know! And now, I have a wonderful wife who lives with me, so, it’s pure bliss! But, on the street, yes, people see

a lesbian couple, yes, absolutely!

The journey toward trans identity, is also a spiritual journey. We break the rules, but we also break everything what’s important in a man is sexuality, is important, identity… So, I’ve read a lot of ancient books, Plato’s Symposium with the androgynes. For those who are familiar with it... The holy books… So, I looked for answers, sometimes in ancient philosophy,

which is sometimes more modern than what we see today on TV! Nietzsche too, with “Become who you are,” which struck a chord with me. After that, I actually moved on to a maxim, that can be found, I believe, on the Temple of Delphi, it must be: “Know thyself and you will know men and the gods. So, “know thyself”—indeed, that is what I sought to do, because I didn’t understand the turmoil inside me.

I didn’t understand how I was different. So, I learned to know myself. Because of that, I learned to get to know others. Because, when you know yourself, you understand others better. So, know yourself and you will know others, that’s absolutely true! And you will know the gods… So, it’s true that it allowed me spiritual growth, since I went beyond all that,

and that allowed me to truly engage with concepts connected to spirituality. I went through a journey that began with a rejection of religions, since religions, whether Catholic or Muslim, have caused many wars, have caused many deaths! Religions that preach peace, which have been the greatest architects of wars and massacres since… So we say: “that’s no longer true”! What we see on the news, well, it’s still true, unfortunately! And besides, I can’t believe in a religion that says

that I’m an abomination! From a rejection of religion, I realized that religions had appropriated beliefs, and that one can be a believer without being religious. So that, is extremely important. So, today, when I say I’m a believer, people say, “Oh, are you Catholic”? No, I’m a believer, but I’m not Catholic! For me, the Catholic Church is the world’s biggest manufacturer of atheists!

Just a few more centuries of Catholicism, and we’ll all be atheists! So, what I’m saying is very harsh, but when we see what’s happening today, I think they still haven’t understood. 1.5 million people in the streets protesting marriage equality, It’s heartbreaking! Whether it’s in terms of religious concepts, loving one’s neighbor, and practicing compassion and forgiveness, or whether it be

the values of the Republic: Liberty, Equality, Fraternity. I didn’t see any of that! I saw a million and a half people filled with hatred, and who were religious people. So, today I consider myself a believer, but not religious. Because of that, I’ve rediscovered values, things that are important. I’ve discovered a few common traits

in many religions. I also found the message of Christ in the Gospels. So, for me, the Gospels have become much more readable since I left that Catholic framework. Since I had a patriarchal upbringing, I had to learn to break free from that, and I distanced myself too, from a Catholic view of the world, where there is a lot of hypocrisy, a lot of judgment, a lot of hatred too!

I have reconciled myself with faith, with the messages of love and peace found in the Gospels. There is a quote from Saint John that I like the most, and it is: “You will be set free by the truth.” So, indeed, living in a lie toward others or toward yourself, you cannot be happy. It deprives you of freedom. So, indeed, that applies to everyone. Be true to yourself, and to others.

Don’t drag dead weight through life. So, I am also very respectful of Muslim beliefs, even though I think that Islam is a theocratic religion and not at all democratic. I rediscovered that, and it allowed me to grow. And since I came back with a much more positive view of the world, things seem to be working out, getting better.

Before, I had to hide, now, I don’t have to hide anymore. Everything is working out because I think we shouldn’t be afraid anymore, honestly! If you’re afraid, you create a negative reality for yourself. If you start with a positive mindset, you will see positive people coming toward you, life’s opportunities. Life will smile upon you, and that is super important! But actually, today, my life has been based on forgiveness, truth, and kindness.

So, I’m not saying it’s perfect on a day to day basis, but by keeping that in mind, strangely enough, you reap the rewards. And I often tell my children: “Be selfish, be good, do good, you’ll see, you’ll get more in return”! I also tell them that in life, you have to be generous. If you are generous, life will be generous to you. And, ever since I’ve had this mindset, which is no longer based on the fear of:

“Ah, I'm trans, what are we going to say, I'm going to be rejected”. It’s the opposite! Today everyone loves me, everyone comes to me, and life is good. So, that’s really a message: you shouldn’t be afraid! I think that spirituality and my spiritual growth have allowed me to be in a state of mind that made

me daring to run for election, me succeeding in winning over people’s hearts through my speech. From the moment you change what you have deep inside yourself, you convey that desire, that joy. And today, people, when they see me, yes, they… they don’t reject me, quite the contrary! So, this journey has been both physical and spiritual. What a journey, what strength, what humanity!

Marie shows us that moving forward is a struggle, but also a path to oneself, full of hope, full of light. Share this story, spread the word everywhere! On your social media, via message, via email, help spread the word! Every share is a helping hand, a voice that matters. And don't forget to speak up! Want to react, share your story, or tell us how

this story inspires you? Leave us an audio or video message on the hotline of the HappyGayTV.com website. All words that are sincere, respectful, kind, are welcome here. And you, who are trans, perhaps, you who are watching us, yes, you! You surely have an experience, a feeling, a question that no one has asked yet.

Go to the Hotline, record your message, and we’ll post your message in the HappyGayTV club. And if your story is insightful— and it will be—we might even feature it in an upcoming episode of the show HappyGayTV & You. And you’ll be notified by email, as soon as it comes out. Anyway, join us, what you’re going through is valuable and it can help so many people!

André HELMAN, hello! You who often support people who are questioning their gender, what stands out to you about Marie CAU’s journey? - Hello, Marco! First of all, I’d like to clarify that I’m speaking here on my own behalf, not on behalf of any institution or any association of any kind, and certainly not on behalf of science! I am sharing my personal experience.

So, regarding the interview with Marie CAU, I must say that I was quite impressed by her strong personality, and by the way, which turned out to be very positive, and which she describes this experience which was inevitably, in part, largely painful for her, and from which she came out wonderfully! - André, a very simple, yet important question. What distinction do you make between

transgender, trans identity, and transsexuals? Because... we often hear these words sometimes used incorrectly, and it’s worth distinguishing them clearly. - It’s true that all this vocabulary is a source of confusion for many people. We’ve been talking for a very long time about transsexuals. In fact, it’s a medical term, that was invented by doctors, a very long time ago, about a hundred years ago.

At the time, it had nothing to do to whether or not you undergo gender reassignment surgery, for the simple reason that it didn’t exist, almost not at all. Simply put, it was a medical way to come up with a term. And in the same way, it was a doctor who came up with the term “homosexual.” The term “homosexual,”

no alternative has been found so far, except “gay,” for men and “lesbian” for women. In English, we use “gay” for both men and women. Today, in particular, we refer to “trans identity” to describe the phenomenon, and “transgender” to describe people. Why? Because it’s not a matter of sexuality. So, the word “transsexual,” well, it leaves room for doubt! Are we talking about sexuality, or are we talking about gender?

So, it’s best to avoid it, on the one hand, and on the other hand, the issue of the surgery, of gender reassignment, is something extremely personal and intimate. Today, most trans people consider that no one needs to know whether they’ve had surgery or not. Some may talk about it, that’s their right, of course! But many don’t want to talk about it, it’s their privacy! I’ve often heard this sentence: “But nobody

has any business looking at what’s in my underwear!” And it seems to me perfectly legitimate and very respectable. So, as a result, talking about transsexuals to suggest that someone has had surgery or not, well, actually, is to reveal something intimate that the person may rightfully not want to reveal. So, it seems more fair to me today, and this is the perspective of most trans people,

to talk about transgender and trans identity.

- Marie CAU described her discomfort in a very eloquent way. She says: “It’s as if we were watching black-and-white television and then switched to color in HD Dolby Surround.” Do you agree with this statement? How do you understand it, as a therapist? Most of the transgender people I meet, talk about this sense of unease which is related to the fact that they feel they belong to a gender

that is not the one assigned to them at birth and the one in which they are recognized, in which their family, their loved ones, those around them, their colleagues, if they work, recognize them. And that leads to a great feeling of discomfort, because they always feel in a way, to be lying! It’s as if, they could never, show themselves as they are!

They pretend, more or less, to belong to the gender in which they are expected to be. They are forced to behave in a way that, those around them—their family, their loved ones, see a girl or a woman even though, they don’t feel, they don’t feel like a girl or a woman. The distress is tied to this, to this disparity between what trans people feel, and what those around them expect of them. - She also talks about a more biological aspect.

According to her, being transgender is linked to a hormonal imbalance during gestation. Do you agree with this idea or is it more complex than that? So, it’s a theory. She, for her part, seems to have adopted this theory, which is perfectly her right. But, it is one theory among others. In fact, based on what I know, today, we don’t know why a person is trans,

just as we don’t know why a person is straight or gay or bisexual. There are lots of theories. There has been a lot of research that have been done. None of them are really conclusive, in my opinion. We can’t definitively say that it’s a hormonal issue and that, as she says, we think like a man

or we think like a woman, because there was hormonal influence. I’m not so sure about that! But, I don’t know... I couldn’t say no or the opposite either. - André, you who are a psychotherapist, do you think there is a feminine way of thinking and a masculine way of thinking as Marie suggests? Or is it that, deep down, thinking, is just something different depending on the person?

- That’s not how I see things, anyway. I understand that it’s her way. I think you either feel like a man, or you feel like a woman. Now, the way of thinking that we might call masculine or the way of thinking that we might call feminine, means that it more or less fits society’s masculine or feminine stereotype. And it varies greatly from one person to another! I see a lot of people who don’t question their birth gender,

the gender assigned to them at birth, but who have a way of thinking that does not match what is expected, what society expects from someone like that! So, it’s complex. - Let’s talk a little about the mirror, André.

It’s an image that comes up often. Doesn’t it also play out in the reflection we see of ourselves? What if the mirror didn’t exist? The distress of transgender people would it still exist? Or… well, what do you think? - Yes, trans identity would exist but not the suffering! I think the suffering that comes with it, or the unease is indeed linked to the bathroom mirror and the mirror of the other.

So, it’s not just the mirror in the bathroom, because there are also physical sensations. Most trans men say how much having breasts is bothersome to them, because they… they were assigned female at birth, they went through puberty, their breasts grew and it bothers them a lot, a lot, a lot. It’s not just because they see their breasts, because they can feel it!

It’s not at all… it’s not just about how they look. Transgender people suffer from physical sensations that are at odds with the image, so here we see the mirror, that others expect of them. And of course, every trans person also has expectations of themselves, based on the gender assigned to them at birth. It’s not just about appearances, but how others see her, it’s still that which carries the most weight.

- As teenagers, we all go through a phase of rejecting our bodies. It changes, we don’t always recognize ourselves anymore. But then, what is the difference between this temporary discomfort and the real suffering of a trans person? Do trans teens have a harder time taking that step? - I think they’re two different things , but indeed , they’re very similar.

For a person who is not transgender, we refer to them as a cisgender person. We say: a cisgender man or a cisgender woman. Well, we often say now a cis man, or a cis woman. So, someone who feels comfortable in their assigned gender, often won’t feel at ease in their body during puberty, which is something entirely different! That doesn’t mean that the person is questioning their gender but the way their body is changing,

often bothers the teenager or the teenage girl. But this is something else than questioning one’s gender. The teenage girl who sees her breasts growing, who sees the shape of her hips changing. This can bother her, especially because it reflects an image of women with which today, many young girls disagree with. The image of women in a macho society, a patriarchal society, which they don’t want.

That’s one of the reasons, but it’s not the only one. It could also be that they don’t like the shape of their bodies, but they don’t question the fact of being a girl. They don’t say to themselves , though: “I feel like a boy.” That’s very different! So, for a trans person, when their body starts to change during adolescence, it’s going to be much worse than what they felt before. Because her biological gender will be visible obviously and she doesn’t want

for it to be obvious, since, she doesn’t feel in line with that. So, these are still two different things, even though both occur during adolescence and present themselves in a similar way.

- Marie talks a lot about freedom. In your opinion, André, what does she mean by that? And deep down, is that your message too? Accepting who we are to live better? - I think what she says is very, very true about that feeling of freedom. It’s actually very touching! It really, it really touched me! When she says how free she felt,

when she fully embraced herself as a woman. She says she went from a black-and-white world to a world in color, that all of a sudden, she felt free at age 40! I think that, in fact, a trans person who doesn’t allow themselves to be themselves, who can’t come to terms with who they are, who can’t accept themselves, because it’s very difficult socially, will constantly live under pressure.

She has to constantly force herself to appear the way others want her to be, or expect her to be, and not the way she feels she is. So, all of a sudden, when we stop to appear the way others would like, there’s an absolutely wonderful feeling of freedom that can definitely be compared to the feeling of freedom of homosexual people when they fully embrace who they are, whereas until then, they were more or less pretending

to be heterosexual. - So, your advice is that everyone should be true to themselves to live better? - “Should,” I wouldn't say that, but I think that the more we accept ourselves, the better it is, yes! I think that not accepting yourself as you are, and pretending to be someone else, is a source of suffering and constant tension.

- She also talks about spirituality. Do you think this inner journey helped her build herself up? And you, André, without being a spiritual guide, do you feel that this aspect can really help? - No, no! Of course, I’m not going to take a religious stance at all. In fact, she herelf rejects very, very categorically religions, which I understand.

I greatly admire the path she has taken, because she has taken a dual path. She has walked a path of liberation of her kind until she fully embraced herself as the woman she is. And then, at the same time, she embarked on a spiritual journey which helps her enormously, which helps her accept herself just as she is, and which helps her to accept others just as they are, too. That’s what she says.

And that, I think is really essential! Everyone who is on a spiritual path, that leads to this kind of state, of inner peace, are much more likely to be fulfilled and happy. And she gives a very nice example of this. For me, it doesn’t have any obviously direct connection to the fact that she is a trans woman. - And then, one last question, a bit touchy

but one that we all ask ourselves: when Marie had a man’s body. She loved women. Today, she is a woman and she still loves women... So, has she become a lesbian? - That’s a question everyone is asking. She says, “No,” because she says: “I’ve always been attracted to women. It just so happens that today, I have a partner

with whom I’m happy, who loves me, whom I love and it’s wonderful, but that doesn’t mean that I’m a lesbian.” In fact, this question of being gay or lesbian doesn’t really come up unless we split society in two. Which is exactly what transgender people reject. For transgender people, there isn’t just a binary system, man on one side, woman on the other. Just as for many today

scholars and researchers in gender studies. It’s not about labeling someone as gay or lesbian. But simply knowing that you are attracted to a certain type of person. And that can, in fact, change, too! You can’t say she became a lesbian, because I don’t think you can become a lesbian or that you can become gay! She has always loved women. She continues to love women as a woman, so she puts it well: from the outside,

we see her partner as a lesbian couple. She hasn’t changed! She hasn’t become anything other than who she was. I think those labels, they fall away under those circumstances. Transgender people lead us to completely reconsider, to question, the gender binary of male and female, and the binary of sexual orientation —straight or gay. And that’s really interesting, it makes us think! It’s not easy, it’s very uncomfortable!

That’s one of the reasons why they’re rejected, it’s because they cause that discomfort. - Thanks, André! Don’t hesitate, you who are watching us, to send us your questions and comments via the Hotline. We’ll respond to them in an upcoming episode of HappyGayTV & You, and you can also find out more at the HappyGayTV club. So, sign up—it’s still the best way to follow us.

I thought we were all going to see

Roselyne’s legendary smile, but I’m being told, over the earpiece, that she’s still in a very bad mood... So, tell me Roselyne, I thought you were going to start this new season off on the right foot, but apparently, that’s not the case? - No, Marco! Well, no, I’m not happy! Look at this! I thought to myself, Season 2 means moldings,

gilding, and getting drunk on champagne, Marco! But here we are! A huge room, a camping table! I mean, are you kidding me, or what? I thought I’d be here, in a place worthy of the Palace of Versailles or something like that! So, you’re telling me yes, it’s because you take up so much space on HappyGayTV that… no, no, no, no, no! I want something spectacular, something that matches my aura, Marco!

You’ll know by next time! Yeah, yeah, don’t even bother shaking your head like that! - Come on, let’s keep going! - Okay, so let’s go with the first question, right? And it’s Eléonore de Montcuq in the Lot (Mount Ass in the Lot)! And yes, mind you the town, huh! By the way, Marco... I can see where you're going with this, right!

Here we go, we’re starting season 2, you’ve still got that lecherous look on your face, haven’t you! That’s terrible, that’s terrible! So, Roselyne, I discovered I was transgender at age 50—is it too late to start being myself? Too late? I mean… Sweetie, look at Marie Cau! Look, she started her revolution after turning 50. Well, come on!

That said, I started mine at 42! That's right! Marco, on the other hand, never recovered from some of the dresses! Right, Marco? [Laughter] No, there’s never an age too old to shine with excellence. There you go, that’s how it goes. See you soon, Eléonore. - Roselyne? - Yes! - Since I’ve been watching you, I’ve been thinking that there’s

something fundamental that has changed. But what hairiness? - Oh yeah! Well, let’s talk about what really upsets me! You’re right, Marco! I took male hormones , believe it or not, because I wanted to achieve the ultimate spirituality, the… the Marie CAU attitude, as they say! But, look at this! I thought to myself: there, a little bonus

and then wisdom struck me! What did I win? Still crowded on the balcony, not a single soul in sight, not even a spare micro-penis! Oh no, oh no, really! It’s just that I have to shave every morning, shaving cream is expensive, I’m telling you, Marco, huh! Right! Okay, let’s keep going, it’s no big deal, You know what?

I’ll reach ultimate wisdom a bit later. See what I mean! So, we have a second question, a question from Benjamin in Condom. I don’t know what that means... It’s a town in the Gers! Roselyne, I’m discovering that I’m transgender. Is it too late for me? Marie Cau has shown that, it’s never too late! Of course!

You have to stand up for yourself! For me, you know, when I brought out my glitter fan, Marco, he had a heart attack! What’s wrong with her? [Laughter] No, no! You always have to own who you are at any age. The important thing is to have some flair, as they say, right! And glitter, that, that always helps, right, Marco? - And with you guys, the glitter, you need a few kilos of it,

what am I saying... a few hundred liters! - Hey, what does that mean, Marco? Well no, I’m not going to point it out, I’m not going to point it out... Watch out, I’ve got my eye on you, Marco! Just a quick reminder, please, my darlings, this website is called HappyGayTV, okay? We’re not on service-public.fr! No, no, because, I have some requests, I don’t understand a thing anymore, Marco! [Laughter]

Nothing at all! So, what was the name of that lady I saw? Well, I don’t remember her name, but a lady from Trécon (Very dumb). So, it’s a real town! Careful! We don’t make fun of people! Well, a lady from Trécon is calling me with an accent like Sunday church bells, [Laughter] who asked me to renew his child’s ID documents

who was born abroad. So I told her, it all depends, where was he conceived? - No, Roselyne! Not where he was conceived, but where he was born! We don’t always know who a child’s father is, so then, where it was conceived, how do you expect us to know? - Yeah, well, sorry Marco, but you know, conception matters too! Especially at Trecon (Very dumb);!

[Laughter] Alright, let’s move on to the next question. I have someone named Dominique... Dominique Martin, from Sexfontaines (Sex fountains) who contacted me, and who tells me that the tax office has confused her with Dominique Martin, a man! So, the tax office told her, I don’t know, some story about, Yeah, you know, today, you’re a man in the morning, a woman in the afternoon, so pay up! No! No, Marco, I protest!

No, I don’t want the tax authorities meddling in gender issues! I feel like saying: let them meddle in their own business, those people, right? What do you think, you? - Yes! Actually, in a way, we could talk about the misappropriation of trans identity, couldn’t we? - Yes! You're going to stop joking because it doesn’t suit you at all, Marco! [Laughter] So we have another question, of course,

from Fabrice in Poil (Hair) in Nièvre. So, not hairy, he’s not all hairy! It’s just that he lives in a town called Poil (Hair)! Oh, that’s funny! - Yes, the city of Poil (Hairy) suits you like a glove today, Roselyne! - Ah! Okay, let’s keep going! And so, Fabrice tells us: Roselyne, how can I inspire others, like Marie CAU,

inspires me? Fabrice, inspire us with your, your authenticity, your boldness, your radiance. You see, Marie CAU inspires because she has turned her life into a spectacle of universal courage. So, stay on that path, Fabrice. Okay? Well, dear friends, it’s time for us to part ways. So, as you know, to ask your questions, or leave your comments, go to HappyGayTV.com. I’ll be waiting for you and I’ll answer you!

Well, see you later… - And try to shave, Roselyne, next time, please! So, to you watching us, if you want to react, ask a question or share your experience, leave us a message on the Hotline. It will be shared with all Club members. And if your comment or question sparks further discussion, we’ll of course bring it up in an upcoming episode from HappyGayTV & You, and you’ll be notified by email,

as soon as it’s online. And all this for the modest sum of €0.00. So sign up, see you soon!

HappyGayTV Club members were notified and asked via email to share their thoughts to this episode, which they were able to watch in advance. Here is the message they left on the Hotline. Hello Marie, I’m very happy to ask you this question today. Let me introduce myself: I’m Céline AVIANI, I’m a singer, songwriter, composer and a few months ago, I released the music video for my song: “A New World”,

which talks about harassment, discrimination, and the fact of not feeling like you belong. And I wanted to ask you about this topic. Because alongside my artistic career, I work as a school counselor, and we know that unfortunately, transgender youth or those from from the LGBTQIA+ community, are at greater risk of being one day victims of bullying or harassment at some point in their lives. And I wanted to know if that had been the case for you.

Have you been a victim of it and if so, how did it manifest itself and how did you manage to overcome it? Either way, I look forward to meeting you very soon and above all, keep spreading and carrying your voice very, very far and what you stand for. Big kisses. Hello, Marie!

Congratulations on your testimony. I was wondering if the choice of the name Marie was connected to your spiritual journey. Otherwise, was it easy for you for the people around you to call you Marie, as well as the change of legal name. Kisses. Hi Marie, it’s Greg! Thank you for sharing your story. So, I have a question for you.

You say in this episode that you funded surgeries yourself. Is it possible to tell us what is covered and what isn’t, by Medicare? There you go! Thanks for your answer, hugs to everyone! Before we part ways, you who are watching us, you might still have a question, a doubt or just a thought to share about being trans. So go ahead, I’m counting on you to leave your message

on the Hotline. A question, a story, an idea, whatever you want! We’ll listen to everything, and the messages that move things forward, we’ll pick them up in an upcoming episode of HappyGayTV & You with Marie CAU. And to keep up with all of this, and not miss a thing, as you know, subscribe to the HappyGayTV Club, it’s free, it takes 30 seconds

and it’s the best way to experience this adventure with us. So, thank you for being here! Thank you for your attention, your openness, and your kindness. See you very soon on HappyGayTV! And until then, take good care of yourself! Bye, bye! I love you all!

Hair removal cream for intimate hygiene… Yeah, well, that should be fine because it’s starting to get expensive at this point, right!